I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Randomize
