I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
