Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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