I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Randomize
