My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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