Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
