Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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