"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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