Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
