Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
