i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
