i'm signing you up for texting rehab
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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