my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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