Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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