all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
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We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
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lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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