What did we do last night that was yellow?
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I have fence marks all over my body
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
