New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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