doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
we made out on top of his cat.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Randomize
