Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
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