My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Randomize
