i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
