you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
