It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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