some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
