; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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