Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
