she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
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She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize