fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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