There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
