Do you still have your period?
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Randomize
