you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize