is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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