do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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