My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
