You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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