The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
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we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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