Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
