If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize
