The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Randomize
