dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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