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• (206): View more from Washington

  She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.

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• (404): View more from Georgia

  FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night

  (1-404): View more from Georgia

  haha good one..how did you even know?

  (404): View more from Georgia

  we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.

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• (312): View more from Illinois

  i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab

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• (260): View more from Indiana

  Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?

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  21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn

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• (313): View more from Michigan

  Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.

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• (802): View more from Vermont

  He's yummy.

  (613): View more from Ontario

  HE'S GAY. AND 40.

  (802): View more from Vermont

  Irrelevant.

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• (212): View more from New York

  You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines

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• (404): View more from Georgia

  Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.

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• (801): View more from Utah

  Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.

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  19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”

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• (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.

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• (910): View more from North Carolina

  I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test

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• (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.

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• (540): View more from Virginia

  I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month

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• (845): View more from New York

  I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.

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