Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
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