Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (540): View more from Virginia

  she says it's "been amazing lately"

  (540): View more from Virginia

  i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half

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  (540): she says it's "been amazing lately" (540): i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half http://tfl.nu/wgvp
  Replies (27) Good night (3631) Bad night (859)
• Favorite

  (845): View more from New York

  He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?

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  (845): He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right? http://tfl.nu/rwt1
  Replies (37) Good night (785) Bad night (6755)
• Favorite

  (702): View more from Nevada

  we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.

  (1-702): View more from Nevada

  do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?

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  (702): we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast. (1-702): do you want me to pick up budweiser instead? http://tfl.nu/46t6
  Replies (24) Good night (5410) Bad night (695)
• Favorite

  (818): View more from California

  I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.

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  (818): I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore. http://tfl.nu/ogz1
  Replies (19) Good night (1221) Bad night (3786)
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.

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  (519): Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins. http://tfl.nu/y67p
  Replies (41) Good night (5051) Bad night (650)
• Favorite

  (440): View more from Ohio

  just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.

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  (440): just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me. http://tfl.nu/8ykb
  Replies (15) Good night (5257) Bad night (1105)
• Favorite

  (785): View more from Kansas

  I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.

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  (785): I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call. http://tfl.nu/1vmr
  Replies (8) Good night (3738) Bad night (984)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.

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  (847): I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face. http://tfl.nu/62jc
  Replies (11) Good night (3946) Bad night (1740)
• Favorite

  (607): View more from New York

  Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.

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  (607): Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country. http://tfl.nu/h8yr
  Replies (10) Good night (2195) Bad night (621)
• Favorite

  (647): View more from Ontario

  My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?

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  (647): My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy? http://tfl.nu/waaq
  Replies (14) Good night (3486) Bad night (1436)
• Favorite

  (916): View more from California

  Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister

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  (916): Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister http://tfl.nu/waln
  Replies (6) Good night (1424) Bad night (348)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?

  (1-508): View more from Massachusetts

  the boozy kind. is there any other?

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  (508): alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having? (1-508): the boozy kind. is there any other? http://tfl.nu/b6l8
  Replies (4) Good night (783) Bad night (312)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Nope I went the fuck home like an adult

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  (717): Nope I went the fuck home like an adult http://tfl.nu/d43f
  Replies (1) Good night (821) Bad night (302)
• Favorite

  (804): View more from Virginia

  Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children

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  (804): Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children http://tfl.nu/bp23
  Replies (1) Good night (707) Bad night (332)
• Favorite

  (862): View more from New Jersey

  That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.

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  (862): That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth. http://tfl.nu/z1m3
  Replies (0) Good night (620) Bad night (287)

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