Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(914): View more from New York

Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.

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(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now

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(204): View more from Manitoba

We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.

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(407): View more from Florida

Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.

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17 of the Dumbest Defenses Heard in Court
Read it at the TFLN blog
(203): View more from Connecticut

Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights

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(615): View more from Tennessee

Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?

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(613): View more from Ontario

I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.

(250): View more from British Columbia

I hear you

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(317): View more from Indiana

Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol

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(402): View more from Nebraska

We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious

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