I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
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