Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I fill condoms, not promises.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Randomize
