oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
