I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
