He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
