it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
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i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
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I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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