It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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