Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
