Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize
