You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
