Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Randomize
