Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
