Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
