Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
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