i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
