K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
last night I used snow as a chaser
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize