Someone shit on the floor
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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