one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
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