Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
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