my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Randomize
