Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
