I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Randomize
