I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize