i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Randomize
