He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
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